A senior Marine once taught me that being a Marine is kind of like being a Jedi. We are kind of like a strange little culture within a much larger culture. We are a bit extreme in our beliefs, some would say fanatical, and have a strange ability to bring about the destruction of evil as if guided by some supernatural force. But there is so much more. I would like to share some of that with you now.
Marines can be broken into a few groups: Officers, Senior Staff Non-Commissioned Officers, Non-Commissioned Officers, and the E-3 and below. All of these have a copy somewhere in the followers of the force. Check out the story below to see what I mean.
Take yourself back to countless Monday morning formations and inspections. Each member of the platoon is carrying his different roles. The squads are aligned and the inspections are about to begin. Suddenly there is a disturbance in the force…
PFC Rice heads to formation. As he makes his way to the formation, he realizes he has forgotten his chevrons, the symbol of his rank and his ignorance. In his haste to correct the error before the formation, he puts his chevrons on his collar… nearly an inch from the edges. (People not familiar with Marine Corps fanaticism might overlook this detail. So did Rice.) He is unaware of the gravity of his mistake and doesn’t have time to correct it. “They’re small so maybe no one will notice,” he thinks to himself. But he doesn’t yet understand the power of the Corps and what a great disturbance he has made within it.
The NCO, Sergeant, and the Corporal are those wise and seasoned in the ways of the Corps. They are like the Jedi Knight. He has completed his training and is now mastering the ways of the Corps. He understands the Corps and is guided by its pull. He has yet to gain full control of its power. Mastery is still beyond his reach. He has, however, a great sense for a disturbance and is the front line galactic warrior against the dark side of the Corps, the raw youngling PFC’s. His power is great, but it pales in comparison to the abilities of the true master of the force…
The Gunnery Sergeant sits at his desk. He feels the disturbance in the Corps and seeks to correct it. He stands up and walks to the window overlooking the platoon off in the distance. He leans out the window, and as if guided by supernatural forces yells, “RICE! Correct yourself!”
With this he begins his work in preparation for the duel that is soon to come with the dark side of the Corps.
The Senior Non-Commissioned Officer, known by many names like “The Gunny“, “Top”, “Master Gun” and “The Sgt. Major.” He is the Jedi Master of the Corps. His service stripes serve as symbols to the brave knights and Padawan PFC’s in his years of service fighting the forces of darkness. He has supreme command of the Corps and uses its power to command and mold the Marines within his care. He is attuned to even the slightest disturbances in the Corps, and is able to spot any dangerous situation, be it an enemy ambush, or the PFC using his lightsaber to fix the haircut he forgot to get on Sunday. His charge is t0 carry out the daily mission of the Corps and see that its will is seen through. But there is one more element to the force, one that stands opposed to the nature of the Jedi Master of the Corps. Those who fallen to the dark side of the Corps…
He is the Lieutenant. As he makes his way to the formation, he anticipates with a sinister glee the duel with the enlisted Jedi warriors. He has been secretly scheming, hidden away in offices away from the eyes of the noble and stalwart knights. As the Marines are distracted with this minor disturbance in the force, he is able to clandestinely manueveur to catch them unawares. In his ambitious march to supreme power of the Corps, he is preparing for the arrival of his master, the General… or rather, the Dark Sith Lord.
Yes, Officers are the Sith. They have given up the noble path of the enlisted Jedi for power and glory. While they may have once thought they could control the power of the dark side of the Corps for good, as they all do they fell to its grandeur and corrupting power. They are selected from amongst the most powerful and impressionable of candidates. Given special training, power and privileges, they are in command of the most powerful of dark Corps abilities: Surprise inspections, field days, weapons cleanings and the 11th hour mission orders in the prospects of gaining supreme glory. Have you ever wondered why the other Marines salute? They raise their right hand when they pass officers to protect their minds from the influence of their manipulating dark powers. Just warning you.
So as they prepare for their duel, the the Masters of the Corps square off in front of the platoon. The mighty Jedi Master Gunnery Sergeant stands ably with the platoon of noble warriors behind him. Facing him is the corrupt and vile master of the dark side of the Corps. They stare each other down. The Gunny raises his right hand to protect himself from the treacherous powers of the Lieutenant. He then warns the Lieutenant away by listing the size and strength of his force “All Marines present and accounted for.” The Lieutenant is scared. He sees that he is outmatched. As a desperate bid to cover his mistake, he issues a series of senseless orders to command the Marines’ attention while he prepares a new plan. He executes his plan “Carry out the plan of the day” (said another way: “Do what must be done.”) With his distractions in place the Lieutenant makes his escape, hiding away into the dark places where he builds his schemes of galactic domination. This battle won, the Gunny takes his men and begins to undo the plans of the Lieutenant, setting his Marines to the tasks at hand.
Yep, so that’s how it is. The Marines are like Jedi and now you know why.
This post is meant in jest (mostly). I hope all my readers find it fun and amusing.
Hope you don’t mind if I post this to my 50000 followers?
Don’t mind at all thanks.
As an officer in the 82nd Airborne division (1st LT) in Vietnam, I was going to say that you were full of []. However, I can understand the humor.
Thank you sir. I am glad that you have shown the intelligence and wisdom that we have grown to expect from our outstanding officer corps by seeing that this post is, in fact, meant to be humorous.
By the way, I am sorry to inform you but since you offer up opinions on a Marine post and you admit to being army yourself that you find yourself, for purposes of this post, neither Jedi nor Sith but somewhere between an ewok and Jar-Jar Binks. Good day sir.
Truly superb!!
Awesome
Reblogged this on Searching for my truth… and commented:
I will add thoughts later, since it’s way past bedtime. But this is quite fun and I should make comments from both perspectives. 🙂
Wow. Mixing a story about Jedi and Marines! Who wouldn’t love that!
Where do Warrant Officers fit into this?
I am going to say Protocol Droids. Not for any particular reason. Just because your question confuses and baffles me.
Being from the Army, I can see this applying there as well. Over all I can see this applying in some aspect to most of the military forces.
There are other galactic fighters, but only the Jedi understand the true power of the force.
Warrant officers would be like the dark Jedi. Evil enough to embrace the dark side but not particularly aligned with the sith.
NO, the Sith ignore them as not even real life forms flowing with the Force, simply tools to build a Death Star, and fight in a drone army…
And many warrant officers cannot be understood… They speak in beeps and boops, needing other, more annoying warrant officers to interpret for them… Or simply remain silent with beady, unblinking eyes burning with inhuman life.
They serve both the Jedi Knights in the Sith in equal capacities, though the ones with the Jedi tend to be older and beat up, soon to be replaced. The newer ones serve the Darkside until being discarded, and then reprogrammed by the Jedi, just before retirement.
Maybe WO would. BE bounty hunters?
LOL. Know your role padawan, and go report in to R2D2….well…hes waiting, boot.
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How is Jon Davis such an amazing writer?…
Wow. Well first off I would just like to say thank you very much and I am very honored that a question like this would be asked in such a flattering way. If you want to be good at anything, writing included, I would advise a few simple things. Do thing…
Hey Jon, You’re a very good writer – really cool piece. It’s so funny I made the same comparison the other day. My Son graduated Parris Island Recruit Training July 31, 2015. On the car ride back home to Alabama for his 9 day leave I told him that after seeing the culture of The Corps it was almost like the Jedi Order. Carson is a huge Star Wars fan and loved the comparison. We had raised him to be fearless and hold himself to a higher standard. The Marines have now taken that and turned it up to Eleven. He has a Recon contract and will start BRT in January. He also like writing, he’s won a couple of essay contests. We’ve encouraged him to keep it up – I think seeing your work might inspire him to continue writing. I’ll send you his last short piece if you’d like. Thanks again – So proud of all of you Marines for holding such a high standard.